The Beauty of Married Love and the Fruits Thereof

Marriage unites the spouses and is procreative. Sound radical? Sexual intercourse and having children are intimately connected. Sexual intercourse implies a great commitment, and children are an inherent part of that commitment, and both commitment and children are wonderful gifts to family and society.

Sexual intercourse leads to the begetting of children, but our culture has adopted such a contraceptive mentality that many people do not recognize that they may likely become parents someday; neither do they realize how important it will be to parent and educate their children. The church has always taught that one’s youth is to be spent growing in virtue, yet contemporary culture distracts our youth from doing so. And little or no thought is given to the future, especially forethought in learning how to discern the qualities found in a good spouse and the development of the skills necessary in becoming a good spouse and a good parent.

Contraception violates the procreative meaning of the sexual act but it also violates the unitive meaning of the sexual act and, in the philosophy of Pope John Paul, it violates the "language of the body." Contraceptives convey the message that while sexual intercourse is desired, there is no desire for a permanent bond with the other person, such as a child entails.

Unfortunately, the contraceptive mentality has reduced sexual intercourse to nothing but a pleasurable physical act to enjoy and secondarily to show affection towards another person or persons. The marital act is not given the dignity as the very act whereby spouses co-create with God a new human being. Nearly 70% of children born in the U.S. are either born outside of marriage or into families that will break up through divorce.

Women oftentimes point out that when they are using artificial birth control they have little or no reason to refuse their husbands sexual pleasure. Many men have come to expect sex-on-demand, hence reducing the sexual act to one of self–pleasure rather than self-giving and self-donation.

Human love between a man and a woman is an expression of their whole beings. The ends of marriage are begetting and raising children and the mutual aid of the spouses. Objectively the sexual act is by nature intended for procreation and the education of children. Secondarily it serves to unite the couple in a mutual self-giving love.

So while some may argue that the unitive purpose of sex has priority, children are still one of the goods of marriage. So the two aspects – unitive and procreative – are not mutually exclusive, but are both essential results of mutual love and self-giving. It is in the act of mutual self-giving that unity and procreation take place. Even if the woman is infertile, the couple must still be mindful that that their mutual act of self-giving love is open to children and will bring union between the two. The characteristics of marriage are totality, unity, indissolubility, and faithfulness. For marriage is a covenant, not a contract.

Suffice it to say that children born to parents who are self-controlled, faithful to one another, are open to children and involved in their lives are better off than those born to single parents and those divorced.